A Good Slap in the Face

We all experience it at one time or another. That slap in the face. The thing that makes us stop in our tracks and evaluate exactly what it is we are doing. Mine came today.

I may seem Christian enough. I listen to the Christian station. I wear the cute t-shirts with the cross on the back. I have a cross framed in my guest room. I wear them on necklaces and bracelets. I have bible verses on my walls and even post them all over my personal Facebook page. I pray before every meal and even in public when I eat out with my family. Truth be told, I don't lead the lifestyle. From the outside, I am a Christian. On the inside I am contentious. I worry. I fear. I gossip. I judge. I do not bring my problems to God. I no longer do my bible study. I rarely attend church. Do I realize these things are taking me down a path that I do not want to be on. Absolutely. Have I done anything to change this? Absolutely not. Why? That's the question whizzing through my mind at a break-neck speed. Why?

I don't like announcing all of this on here. I don't even like admitting this to myself. It wasn't so long ago that I was craving my daily devotional and bible study. It wasn't so long ago that I loved attending my Sunday school class and singing praises to God every Sunday morning from the choir loft. I started going to Wednesday night services and even helping with the children's choir program because I felt such an urge to serve and couldn't get enough of God's word. So what changed? I'm still looking into that. I cannot make excuses to make it okay. I cannot continue down this horrible spiral of the type of person I am becoming. I have hope though. The great thing about God is he is ever present. He loves me unconditionally despite my shortcomings. I can get back on the road that I need to be on. I just need accountability. I needed motivation. I needed that slap in the face. I'm ready to go. It's not going to be easy, but great things rarely are.